Anthony Mellors
COUNTRY PURSUITS
for Simon Smith
Digging
Ive spoke about this many times over
never had a plummer I couldnt dig to or bolt
careful entering makes a decent earthdog
easily spannable but the breed has been
overrun with women in charge that wont
let them see serious work thankfully there
are still hardcore lads putting worker to worker
so dont be kidded there all of the same ilk
trialling staff glen of imaal in them as well
a full bred plummer bitch Im digging to
fine for what they a bred to though many
think doc plummer is a lying twat
First attempt at badger
Yet another bottle of whiskey and twelve
months later she will stay to charlie
but won’t speak when she’s on fairplay
come on lads let nature take its coarse
cant pick up a dead animal specially
when mooching on waste ground
set a roe foot apart for a thumb
stick when its time to imalgamate
their strengths and breed ffs grow
a pair when these antis hammer into joe
public mental fuk em chuck it in a bag
no law says you can’t have parts in
possession will pm you a number
Gnasher there your a nice lad two
feet firmly on the ground left them
them rabbits you lamped fried
in the wok there knocking it out as
chicken prefer a fresh fillet of badger
or muntie bit gamey one other little
tip its obvious by the diesel ring
img when cut into seems full of jelly
which actually is a haematoma head /
neck munti need watching I enquired
‘Iraq’ and he just winked position of hands
suggested chopping but it was more a
sawing action methinks followed a james
martin recipe for the wellington though
his pastry is shite still id scran it
Piss on Mr. Brain
Those birds look tasty but how the hell
do you pluck them without tearing the skin?
hard enough with them old boilers taking
nearly a day though love widgeon hanging
in the shed hit and miss on the zostra
but once on frosted glass they are superb
as for the sheep a fair lump to manhandle
on your tod dragged onto the sawhorse
then onto the hook for a suspended gralloch
fleece fisted off alright and the caul fat
plenty of base meat for the faggots I mean
proper faggots wrapped in apron though
the thought of eating lung makes me gip
and those rabbits are fucked in salt water
Blue dub dub
Sent off to this donut for a plywood catty
muppet used only the worst materials
should have had a sniper from pocket
predator still made this with a spalted hazel
fork starship whipped to a bit of petrol
pipe hex available at wilkos pick and mix
or toolstation nice gesture mate soon whack
out some serious power from my crutch
lead beens then off out for ferrals on my perm
First attempt at an owl
Rare wold head not swapped for plastic
quietly working miracles on corpses
mask quiet rough but when the wife went
the first thing to go was the wedding photo
the mask replaced it but wires in the carcass
froze into position stuffed on a bit of wood
bog wood load of dettol in to break down
fats get the flesh and assume the brain
dark pigment inside the skull
that cougar is something I would have
you can almost see her thinking a bit
iffy put them on a pedestal mustard on
anything smaller than a hare out of depth
on fox best not use roadkill next time
looks like its been through a combine
couple of moles in the deep freeze
one apricot / ginger mangled badger
laid out on crimplene and a dead owl
to pass on to a friend thrush too low plains
drifter probably mount two animals a year
losing fur out of the ears after the cure
Copyright © Anthony Mellors 2017
Anthony Mellors published Confessional Sonnets with Aquifer Press in 2016. He is presently completing a translation with introduction and commentary of Daniel zur Höhe’s Winterreise, which will feature woodcuts / photogravures by David Rees. Country Pursuits was performed as a mash-up with poems by Doug Jones for the Enemies European Project, Dragon Hall, Norwich, May 4th 2017. His work previously appeared in Molly Bloom 7.